Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?’ ""Yes madam…My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!!
""Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story? ” “Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```…!!!”
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```…!!!”
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
Depression hits harder than my dad
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor.
A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
If you hit a child that’s child abuse. if you hit a family member that’s abuse. if you kill either, it’s murder for some reason. if it’s a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather. the rope stopped the kid
A man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
RUS | ENG
